When Children Leave the Faith

About 20 years ago when I started to fully embrace my faith, I found support in an email group for Catholic moms. These were the days of dial up internet and email was definitely more utilized than the World Wide Web, which some expects deemed would fail from lack of use. Obviously that didn't happen. I found a lot of support, ideas, and advice from those women on how to raise holy children, not to mention learning more about the faith myself.

With the advent of social media, our group started to flounder. Many of us jumped to Facebook to communicate and as our children grew up, our little world of email virtually disappeared. Fast forward to several months ago, when one woman sent an email to the group asking for prayers and that was all that was needed for us to reconnect. We updated our family situations and noticed a common theme...children who have left the faith.

Common quotes from the women: "I don't know how this happened. I homeschooled, the kids were in Little Flowers, went to youth conferences, and loved to pray the Rosary. They used to beg to go to adoration." These were the kids that we mothers determined were going to buck the trend and stay in the Church. How did this happen? Even in my own family, my adult children have left the Church or don't attend Mass regularly.

So what's a parent to do? I know that my responsibility as a parent is to ensure that my children practice the faith. But when dealing with adult children, there is a fine line in what I can or can't say. I admit that I have harped on my kids about getting back to the Church and it wasn't received very well. I admit that I've turned to St. Monica an awful lot these last few years.

What has helped me is my wise husband's reminder that we weren't any different in our 20's. I know that and I also know that children need to take ownership of their faith. In the Amish culture, youth are given the opportunity to leave their community, "Rumspringa," as it's called. They make the choice to leave and experience the world or return to the Amish. All of that has helped me reconcile my children's choices and realize that although they are adults, they are still developing. They are still trying to find their place in the world apart from their parents

Having dinner with our parish priest a few months ago, I told him of how I don't pound the faith over my kids heads, but gently invite them, encourage them, and respect them to make their choices with the assurance that God will guide them. Our Church is a union, a community, and it should be there for people who realize they need it. Much like the father in The Prodigal Son, the Church waits for our children with loving arms. I'm there holding the door open for them, and they know that. I believe my example is what will help them return someday.

As our email group lamented our fallen away children, we as Catholic mothers know that all is not lost! We have the power of prayer! So we vowed to collectively pray the Rosary every Monday and to also renew our baptismal promises for our children which is a very powerful prayer that according to EWTN's Fr. Miguel, has brought many people back to the faith. This is the prayer:

Lord Jesus, on behalf of my son / daughter, N., I renew his / her baptismal promises which took place on the day of his / her baptism; please bring him / her back to the Sacraments for your glory.
I renounce Satan, and all his works, and all his empty show.
I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary, suffered death and was buried, rose again from the dead and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. Amen.
Almighty God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, You have given us new birth by water and the Holy Spirit and bestowed on us forgiveness of our sins, keep us, especially my son / daughter, N., by your grace, in Christ Jesus our Lord, for eternal life.

 So like St. Monica, we too can take comfort that God will lead our prodigal children home again.